These R the thoughts

How can you say you're close to god
and yet you talk behind my back
as though I am not a part of you?
why do I say I'm fine when it's obvious I'm not?
why's it so hard to tell you
what I want?
why can't you just read my mind?

why do I fear that the quieter I am the less you will listen?
why do I care whether you like me or not?
why is it so hard for me to be angry?
why is it such work to stay conscious and so easy to get stuck
and not the other way around?